


Your chivalry electrifies me

by Ourlullaby



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, But who doesn't?, IronThunderAgent, Multi, Other, Plot bunnies made me do it, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Storyline change, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony and Pepper are past thing, Wooing, courting, not sorry, random shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2018-09-19 16:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9449411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourlullaby/pseuds/Ourlullaby
Summary: No one knew how this has come to happen but people are all for it and press is on a field trip. Tony has dated Coulson for few years when the whole clusterfuck of invading Asgardians happens and Tony and Thor meet after their initial confrontation and the current predicament happens. Somehow press gets a wiff what has transpired and their ravenous about it and news spread like bonfire – Tony suspects Fury as the man is still pissed at Tony for stealing his right hand man, even as genius keeps insisting that it was him who got stolen – and world is loving it.Thor had taken one look at the billionaire and declared to woo him accordingly to have him as his mate and effectively shutting Tony in mid rant, freezing on spot to stare back at the thunder god.Coulson on other hand had immediately approached the god and and gone between Thor and his boyfriend and told him to back off while revealing to entire SHIELD agency just who he was dating.





	1. Inaugurate Courting Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> I have officialy no idea. I read some good fics last night and got antsy for some Thor/Tony/Phil love. I have no idea. I just thought it could be something incredible and awesome to read about. Then next morning along my morning routines my brain started narrating this. I have no idea will I dive deeper into this. Will I carry it out as story as leave this as prequel. But I might invest into this after - I make my own rules - is done. I just thought we needed some Iron/Thunder/Agent mash up. Can you just feel the electricity in the air?
> 
> See what I did there? x)

No one knew how this has come to happen, but people are all for it and press is on a field trip. Tony has dated Coulson for few years when the whole clusterfuck of invading Asgardians happens and Tony and Thor meet after their initial confrontation and the current predicament happens. Somehow press gets a wiff what has transpired and their ravenous about it and news spread like bonfire – Tony suspects Fury as the man is still pissed at Tony for stealing his right hand man, even as genius keeps insisting that it was him who got stolen – and world is loving it.

 

So Tony took a swing at alien prince and could stand toe to toe with him somehow seemed to translate into something entirely different in Asgardian and the moment thei had met on the Helicarrier – Tony sans the armor – Thor had taken one look at the billionaire and declared to woo him accordingly to have him as his mate and effectively shutting Tony in mid rant, freezing on spot to stare back at the thunder god.

 

That was the part media got wind of.

 

Coulson on other matter had immediately approached the god and and gone between Thor and his boyfriend and told him to back off while revealing to entire SHIELD agency just who he was dating. Tony had gone shade redder, still gaping like goldfish for sudden attention from not one, but two men declaring their fancy for him. Thor instead had gal to grin at Agent and proceed to compliment him and wish him best on their upcoming good natured feud for hand – and **heart** - of Man of Iron.

 

So here Tony found himself after New York 'whack-a-alien' invasion/party and three months since then on one of his charity galas, accompanied by two men equally interesting, endearing and alluring on their own ways for the genius. (Fuck you fury for that 'Coulson is dead'-plot) Both still hellbend on wooing the man for themselves. As much as this was mix of funny and terrifying to Tony, he was going at end of his rope by now. He wasn't used to one let alone two persons really fighting for his attention and love in this matter. Both Thor and Phil did their feuding in polite manner and neither didn't really go out to sabotage the other – no worse – they chose instead to focus on Tony and other bowed out when other got first, or on some occasions they shared him.

 

Tony was so out of his depth.

 

Because despite his better judgement...

 

He liked them both.

 


	2. V is for variables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole thing started with an accident, it's what Tony will forever claim it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's day ambushed me. I wrote this on Valentine's but posted it bit late. This chapter is dedicated to MistressLuna who started the "we needs more"- theme; WiccadWoman, Law_keo, emmawritesfic, Michelledinkins89 and Dysgrammatophobia. Beware what you wish for. Emma, poke me with email so we can beta the rest.

_**The whole thing started with an accident, it's what Tony will forever claim it to be.** _

 

Phil was pretty sure there had been slip up somewhere. It really must be so, since he had gotten box of chocolate from no other than Tony Stark. On Valentine's day no less. So the ever calm agent took the box and went to meet the ever elusive eccentric billionaire.

 

Tony of course was to be found in his workshop elbows deep inside half dismantled Iron Man armor, doing gods know what. Upgrading most likely.

 

”So Agent, you have reached my lair of pure genius, how can I help you?” Stark asks not even looking up, but he hasn't been hostile so far so Coulson takes it as a win.

 

”Mr.Stark I think you're present got mailed into wrong address.”Phil said in his ever placid tone, direct approach has so far proved to work best with the reclusive man. Stark had proven to be very good on vanishing if he didn't want to do something. This time the brunet halted, taking step back and looking up to him with cocked eyebrow.

 

”You don't like chocolate, Agent?” confusion is palpable in his voice, even as Stark keeps his expression in mostly looking like he would be indifferent about the answer. But the slight tension on his frame is telling.

 

”You mean this was for me?” Phil asks, feeling little taken back about the knowledge. Tony Stark took attention at him?

 

Brunet set his tools aside and shrugged, running one hand through his hair – And Phil knows that is nervous tick the other man doesn't even notice doing. It's slightly endearing.

 

”Well yeah – it's belgian – I thought you would like to taste the good stuff.” Billionaire says and appears to try to be as nonchalant about the whole gift giving.

 

”Oh! It's not poisoned or unedible for you. I made Jarvis double check.” Tony exclaims waving his hands wildly only to halt at sight of Coulson giving tiny smile.

 

”Thank you Mr. Stark”

 

”It's Tony.”

 

And as Phil exits the workshop - to leave the genius back to his inventing binge - does he realize his compromised. Hard.

 

Box of chocolates is two layered, And somehow Tony has gotten them arranged to make S.H.I.E.L.D. Logo and underlayer like Captain American's shield.

 

So badly compromised.

\- - - - -

 

Tony doesn't get it. He is certain he should have run out of coffee hours ago, not to mention protein bars. But no. It's actually something else that somehow stops his brains overdrive kick and genius looks around the workshop to pinpoint the cause.

 

”Whu- Jarvis, when did I buy that big Wall-E statue thingy?” he asks looking at the new attition into his sanctum.

 

-”Actually Sir, it is a Wall-E recline-armchair slash bed and it is a gift.”- Jarvis tells him and Tony's brain short circuits for moment and that was **not him** that did the unmanly squeal. But come on! It looks exactly like Wall-E and somehow even folds into the cube form like the original guy – ofc Tony would test it – and it's Wall-E! Tony loves that movie, he watches it with his bots when they have behaved well for a week.

 

He forgets to ask from who it is from and why.

 

For three days.

 

That's when he get's Rubik's cube inside rubik's cube inside rubik's cube and how the heck one can solve something like that? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still want me to keep going? x3


	3. consulting fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For some reason Jarvis has decided to not confine his maker just who the heck managed to get Wall-E inside the workshop. Traitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame you all for coveting my muse to get all crusading my hide for this one. It won't leave me alone. No Thor yet, but Phil should get headstart. Next we go for Thor!  
> Also no beta yet. so all flaws are mine. I'm bit sick so not certain I found all the flaws. Shh.

For some reason Jarvis has decided to not confine his maker just who the heck managed to get Wall-E inside the workshop. Traitor. Don't take it wrong, Tony loves the Wall-E chair. So much that he favors it to his worn couch and how could he not? It even does some kind of child level communication with Y-ou, Butterfingers and Dumm-Y (Ofc tony will somepoint slip and add the thing an working AI, they can call him WA-LY), entertaining the bots when Tony is too busy to notice them. And absolutely no one else is allowed to sit in it. Nope. Just Tony himself.

 

Rubik's cube got upgraded... Tony annoys the heck out stockholders in the SI meetings. It's pure gold to see their faces as the cube keeps going when he stops twisting it. It even goes pure black when someone else than Tony touches it. (Pepper's annoyed as she wanted to test it.)

 

It also drops Pepper as potential gift giver. Of course he could just check the surveilance feed and know who the culprit is, but it seems like spoiling the fun.

 

Two weeks since Tony found Wall-E in his shop, Tony finds perfectly folded and bow wrapped clothing sitting innocently by his coffee maker. Again in his shop. List is short who could pull the feat. But Tony hasn't really had time to question or really inspect. SI has needed new inventions and Iron Man has been needed around the world. Absently Tony removes the wrapping to inspect the clothing - J would have warned him is it was dangerous – to unfold something that made made Tony burst in laughter.

 

Iron Man hoodie. Someone had gotten him Iron Man hoodie, it even got palm repulsor fingerless gloves that he had found from the pockets after five minutes hysterical laughing. This thing was priceless! Hood even covered half face like faceplate half retracted. Tony wore it while snuggled on Wall-E and watched the movie with bots. Pepper forbade him to wear it on Stockholders meeting. The crouch.

 

\- - - - -

 

Tony has gotten surprise items for two months without really getting time to solve the puzzle, things have been endless string of board meetings, inventing, presentations, business trips, world saving – not certainly in that order – besides nothing so far has been harmful. Mostly tickling Tony's 'nerdy kid'-side. Which really shouldn't be so gleeful about the gifts. But today not even the upgraded cube can bring Tony's mood up. Pepper ambushed him before the inventor could get to his workshop and call for sanctuary. Not even properly caffeinated – no two cups don't even adequate as enough – and already herded into boring meeting. And there apparently would be no end of them. Tony spied Peppers schedule for him.

 

They're not even ten minutes in, when theres knock on the door that brings the brunet out of his boredom and look to the door. Pepper never let anyone disturb unless it was world ending or something. So you can imagine resident genius billionaires baffled expression when Agent agent calmly strides in.

 

”Forgive me for the intrucion, but I will need Mister Starks immediate attention.” Coulson speaks and Tony is more surprised. J hasn't called for any alarm.

 

”Can it wait Agent Coulson?” Pepper asks, keeping the conversation as formal as the agent man has kept it. Ghost of not smile is there for second, but Tony spotted it. Eep.

 

”I'm afraid not Miss Potts.”

 

And just like that Tony finds himself escorted out of the meeting without much of fuss, into the basement and onto waiting car. Oh Happy's driving.

 

”Soo, what's the great rush and matter? Not that I'm not grateful from rescuing me for short moment from torment that is meeting the stooges gallery. So what am I missing?” Tony starts looking at Coulson while getting rid of the tie. Ties are evil and shouldn't be used unless necessity. Or like super secret agent beside him, who somehow rocks that suits and tie look.

 

”I need to go over the details of your latest Iron Man mission.” Coulson calmly states and Tony halts his hand from reaching for the whiskey. He doesn't even bother to hide the surprise from his face the sentence put there and it's not like Agent Agent somehow doesn't read his media face as well as real face, but seriously.

 

**What?**

 

”Wait, pull back. You mean you whisked me away from important meeting to discuss of details about disarming small terrorist group who happenedto have one of the few weapons left with my name on them?” Tony asks hands gesturing as he doesn't know where to put them.

 

”Over light brunch, yes.” Coulson says in his patent speaking style.

 

Huh.

 

Brunch evolves into lunch, which carries on to dinner. Agent pays.(Like what?) They have gone over the mission report and carried on with not secret SHIELD stuff and new ideas Tony plans to make reality to awe the rest of the world. Somehow it's all nice and cozy and Tony finds himself enjoying the day. They even visit arcade, but that is short lived as genius ends up arguing with a kid about techniques on old super mario and Coulson has to drag him away when people realize who Tony is.

 

It's way into the night when they finally drive to Tony's recidence - Happy got back after driving them to dinner, they carried on with Coulsons car – And Tony insist the Agent to come in and have a drink before he needs to go. The day has been bizare, yet fun Tony muses as he slipped for moment to change clothing to something more comfortable while C goes over some detail over the phone, J promised not to share details if Agent wants so. Tony himself is sure he already knows the intel anyway.

 

So when he walks in the living room to see no other than Agent Coulson, in middle of placing huge box of something onto Tony's coffee table. Agent Agent. For real. Tony has to make double take. He has all but forgotten the surprise gift giver for later date and here he possibly caught the culprit red handed.

 

”Okay- J would have notified me if that would be a bomb so-” Tony drawled watching the ever placid super secret agent just turn around without even flinching. Unfair.

 

”Well this spoiled it.” Coulson says instead and gives tiniest shrug, gesturing for the box. Tony didn't need to be told twice. Curiosity piqued, he approached the box, opening it and peeking inside.

 

Coulson could tell the exact moment the genius noticed what was in the box.

 

”Happy birthday, Tony.” he speaks aloud watching other man pulls out the content of the box.

 

”Today's not my birthday.” Tony croacks unable to say much more.

 

-'Technically we passed the midnight and today is your birthday, Sir.'- Jarvis pipes and and Tony blinks, looking up and then at Coulson.

 

”Tehcnically day early, but we both know your birthday is media circus.” Coulson says.

 

Tony doesn't admit it but Coulson really made the day with the ridicilous oversized teddy bear wearing captain america shirt, carrying real small cake that had origami candle on it.

 

Bear will not be removed from the living room. **Nope**.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas you want me to slip in?


	4. Worthy task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it has taken this long to write another piece. I've had hectic time in my hands with sick days and trying to aquire job. No betas but let's try not grimace too much.

So Reindeer Games was in custody while rest of the mish mash of SHIELD buffoons and supposed Avengers were meeting Goldilocks who happen to be certain glowy-stick wielding madmans brother. Pfff yeah right, genius doesn't bite that at all, it's like looking night and day.

 

But who knows?

 

Tony groaned as he ran hand through the flattened hair to mess it up even more. This whole thing felt like clusterfuck. Coulson walking beside him gave him - what equals supersecret spy worry - look _look_ and it annoys and comforts in so many levels, it's saccharine. It's miracle he isn't breaking in hives.

 

”Promise me you will behave.” there is silent plead for certain archers sake in there. They've danced this dance enough times by now.

 

”No promises Agent, you know me.” Tony says back making wild gestures with his other hand as the cross the hallway towards the flight deck.

 

”I don't play well with others.” he adds with cheeky grin. ' _I'll try my best to get our boy back.'_ is the silent promise that others don't get. Anyone listening their conversation wouldn't have any clue. And that's how they prefer it. There's time for flirting and and other of that stuff and times when they should be focused – well mostly. Just before last corner leading to bridge Phil stops them with light touch to brunets elbow. Tony turns to look at the older man with raised brow. They exchange eyecontact and silent conversation Hawkeye would be jealous if he would see it. _Tony shouldn't think about it..._ instead he shrugs and gives that small warm smile the press will never see.

 

”So about that cellist...” Tony starts and Phil gives good natured groan. They keep at it as they reach their destination and Tony spots someone who could equal his love to science. Resisting urge to squee just for this chance Tony skips to one and only Bruce Banner and goes to 'Tony rant' -mini version – but one nonetheless. Alas, shame the peanut gallery has to pipe in on their entirely engaging conversation as Tony was enraptured by the mild mannered but secretly devious Brucie bear. This conversation has to carry on upon later date. Steeling himself Tony easily changes the mask on and goes to Stark-mode, ready to dazzle the room.

 

Well meant to. But then guy with hair that could make models weep blocks the way. And hey right, alien dude was apparently prince. Yaaay.

 

”Hey, no hard feelings Point Break, you've got a mean swing.” Tony jests with patent smirk and tries circle around the guy, only to be halted by pair of beefy arms. Snark ready he looks up to see surprise clear on the taller mans face.

 

”Thou was that Man of Iron?” blondie asks in pretty loud voice and Tony gives him least impressed look. Tourists.

 

”Yeah, what of it Goldilocks?” Phils silent judging face just at edge of vision tells Tony, that he blew the promise already. Whupsie? Oh heck, might as well go all the way then.

 

”Sorry to bring this up to you then L'oreal, but yeah, it was me and still telling you – don't touch my stuff. I'm pretty sure you should know such rules easily-”

 

”By Nine, I shall have you as mine. You shall be fine consort.” Thor declares with bright smile in that loud tone. Tony staggers, gears halting in geniuses brain along cutting the sentence in the middle. Shorter man gapes openly at the alien prince. (Fury will regred he didn't record this rare moment of silent Stark.)

 

Okay, apparently when Tony took a swing at alien prince and showed off he could stand toe to toe with him seems to somehow translate into something entirely different in the land of magical rainbow bridges. (Tony did google the so called self proclaimed gods on the way to Helicarrier.)

 

Oh and the alien prince is now hugging him!!!

 

”Hey- wo-wo-woah! Back up. I know I'm most eligible pachelor in America and I'm flattered, but personal space your hunkness.” Flustered Tony tries vainly to stop the guy to even voice such nonsense and stop hugging him – unspoken part about 'hands off!'- being that C is standing very close – and Tony has been good for almost half year now. Aside casual flirting with Pepper, but Pep's special.

 

”Alas, worry not Man of Iron, for thy to be Prince's consort. Thou shall be wooed accordingly.” Thor agrees seemingly oblivious on the geniuses attempts to get some space between them all the while many SHIELD agents faltered upon Thor's declaration. Pretty sure Galaga guy took picture.

 

”That's not what I meant!” Tony all but yelps. Damn it the blond really has ability to confuse him.

 

”Then voice thy worries so I may dispel them.” Thor says so solemly like it would really be the most desired task he could ever take. Is the guy for real?

 

”Tha-”

 

”Please step away from Mr. Stark Mister Odinson.” Bland voice cuts the increasing volume the two of them have started to use and both look at Coulson who has suddenly appeared between them. How does he do that!?

 

”Son of Coul. It is great to see you again, but alas let us carry our talk, it does not concern thy.” Thor says politely, his voice going octave down form the volume he and Tony have started to reach. But Coulson doesn't budge.

 

”It matters greatly to me, when you're trying to woo my boyfriend.” Coulson calmly states wrapping one hand around Tony's shoulder. And holy crap is the ever stoic Coulson really hugging him in open!? Blushing Tony Stark is novelty and Galaga Guy will keep that photo in well guarded safe. Or blackmail material.

 

Flight deck loses it. So does Fury when he finally emerges.

 

Coulson and Thor other hand?

 

”I see we both want to compete for the hand of Man of Iron, worthy task! Thou hast chosen well Son of Coul, but I cannot bow before trying my best. May the best man win his favor.” Thor declares with grin and shakes hand with Coulson. That's the moment Tony takes to flee the deck and drag Bruce along to do something that makes sense. Science.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting it on. Please be gentle. I try my best to portray them all. Thor hogs the limelight on next. Let the games begin! We also divert from the movieverse timeline a bit. Welcome to parrelverse [data corrupted].


	5. Ozone and rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, yeah life's been busy. I shall endeavor to write more often. Fingers crossed.

Fury actually looks like he might pop vein or three, and Coulson remembers last time his boss came this close for such occasion, it wasn't pretty. But before he can say anything Fury gives him one of those scowls that somehow manage to convey an entire sentence, this one telling him 'this shit' is for later date. Which is all fine and dandy as Phil wasn't going to speak anyways here on the flight deck. He already crossed one line the agent had said he wouldn't cross for sake of this relationship to work.  
  
"What just happened?" Captain America asks seemingly unnerved to be thrown out of the loop and Romanov leans over to whisper something degrading to him if the shades of red he is sporting is any indication. Phil wishes she didn't go too detailed with his childhood hero. Thor in other hand seems amused by the Captains squawk. But not for long.  
  
"Is that even legal!?" Rogers asks alarmed and clearly disturbed. Right, he possibly hasn't gone that far in the recent time social changes.  
  
"What matter concerns you oh Captain?" Thor asks frowning and Phil is pretty sure he himself wanted to ask about that exclamation, but that would cause too many eyes on him – again. Rogers on other hand seems pretty reluctant to voice the issue clearly deflecting the real matter.  
  
"But his a Stark. Isn't he the most known playboy in existence?" Ouch, Phil felt that deep. Apparently, his childhood hero has read the wrong material. Captain Rogers seems more concerned about Howard's legacy than the son himself. Or maybe that's just Phil overreacting. Most likely overreacting.  
  
"I wish to see my brother." Thor pipes before anything can really escalate, which might be a good thing. Phil decides to take this as a graceful cue for retreat, instead of needing to stay for questions, but Fortuna doesn't seem to like him at all today.  
  
"First I need answers to how he managed to turn my trusted agents into his personal flying monkeys." Fury snaps, getting Captains eager response for understanding that reference and Phil can practically hear Tony's response in his mind. Well... imagine the eye roll, as the inventor can be subtle. Scary subtle. They need to go on a date after this mess is sorted.  
  
"Agent Romanov will question Loki first, she's the most adept at this task. We'll see to your request after we get him to spill his plans." Fury nearly snarls and Coulson finds himself being not so subtly dragged away by seemingly annoyed Black Widow if twitch on her eye corner is any indication. They round the corner the same time as Thor tells Fury that Loki isn't easily fooled. And somehow that notion troubles most.  
  
Shield agents left on deck turn their attention to remaining Captain America and Thor. Ladder giving an interesting look at the Captain. His hand rests on Mjölnirs handle even as he doesn't seem hostile. But this is airship full of agents, they know appearances can be deceiving.  
  
"Tell me, Captain, they consider thy a great warrior?" something in that seemingly polite question is wrong. Captain doesn't seem to have noticed, yet.  
  
Fury feels that impending migraine to intensify.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
Tony want's to keep Brucie. The man is brilliant on what he does and can talk the same language to a point. But he gives that look.  
  
"I'm serious Bruciebear you would love it. It's Candyland for five floors. A candy land." There's that mild smile again. Tony just loves – wait, likes! Like is good - that smile. He needs to start a new file with Brucie's smiles. Considering P's American Icon memorabilia Tony should get a freebie for Brucie bear smiles. They can argue about it if P doesn't join him on Green Bean-smile collection.  
  
"Come on, what you got to lose?" Tony carries on giving Bruce small zap. Oooh, he saw that quick flash of green on those adorable brown eyes. Devious Brucie is devious. Tony might have forgotten to answer for the moment, too enraptured and gleeful for the scientist reaction. P will have to agree to adopt Burcie. Tony won't let the man leave.  
  
"I'm serious, last time I was in New York I leveled Harlem." Bruce says sounding little tired to regale Hulks actions. Tony waves his hand with dismissal, Stark Industries paid most of the reconstruction anyhow. Besides Tony still tries to pull intel about that idiot Ross. One blind lawyer did give him tip about that mess. As strange as that idea was.  
  
"Oh come on. No one was killed. Sure, you managed nice property damage. I mean you almost pulled same figures as my twenty-fifth birthday party managed so not bad. But come on, Big Green is amazing! You both are. I want to keep you with me, just imagine all the science we can do." Tony regales spreading his hands with glee before going for his dried blueberry stash. Bruce accepting blueberry makes something warm and fussy bloom inside Tony.  
  
"Come on, what's your secret? Bongo, yoga, a huge bag of weed? I mean you keep the lid on so well." he pries all eager to show the other man his not broken or need to be changed. All the while zapping Bruce again.  
  
"Are you out of your mind?!" a voice asks alarmed and Tony nearly growls as Bruce's smile fades. Tony turns to face no other than Capsicle.  
  
"Jury's out." he snides back while J informs in his earpiece that P has texted him something. Rogers looks furious and snarky words are tossed back and forth. How can one man be so annoying!?  
  
\- - - - -  
  
Natasha seems taut the whole way towards the holding cells. Lips thin, step little too brisk and eyes only forward. Coulson counted down in his mind. And on two he got surprised when the Widow pulled him to small alcove along the corridor.  
  
"You and Stark?" Natasha hisses her question, but before she can gear up for more Phil gives her his most unimpressed look making her glower but yield her hold and he smooths the nonexistent wrinkles.  
  
"Not now." is the only thing he tells to her with carefully void tone. Only Clint had known, but that was because the archer had crashed Phil's sofa after one practically vicious mission, only to land on top of the billionaire who had crashed there first waiting for his boyfriend's return. That one had been an interesting weekend.  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" Widow asks seemingly not able to let it go without a jab.  
  
"Jury's out." Phil deadpans as he moves to get back to work.  
  
"Besides, my personal life isn't up for discussion." he adds before moving to go ahead. Something still nags at the back of his mind, but what? It definitely isn't the venom in the redhead's tone, even as he makes mental note to investigate that one further.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
He's not breathing. Everything is falling apart, Helicarrier is crashing, Thor and Brucie are a no-show, Loki escaped with the glowy stick of doom and his not breathing. Coulson's dead.  
  
                                                                                   _-Sir, I think Agent Coulson is planning- -_  
  
Tony can't breathe. World's not making any sense.  
   
                                                                                                          _'Tony...'_  
  
Phil's voice ghosts in his ears all weak and shaky, nothing like his Agent. Phil never sounds weak or shaky. Nothing makes sense. Lungs burn and vision is filled with black spots. Rest of the sight is filled with the dry red spot by the wall of holding cell chamber.  
  
"He was a good agent." Roger's voice pierces through Phil's voice and thrumming of Tony's own heartbeat. Not now. Tony want's to hear Phil.  
  
"Never lost a soldier before?" Rogers speaks again Tony feels his blood boil as he spins around to yell, ending to deck the man for his stupidy and rudeness. Phil's words in his mind telling him to breathe. Just like each time when Tony battles the panic attack after vicious nightmare or flashback invoked by some scent or sound. Rogers actually falls to his ass and Tony feels something break in his hand. It doesn't matter. Phil's gone.  
  
"We're not soldiers you sanctimonious dipshit!" Tony yells at Steve still feeling the world spin even as it forces itself at him. A world without Phil.  
  
"Stark where are you going?!" Tony hears Barton yell after him after Tony had ditched the startled relic of past, heading towards the hanger.  
  
"To kill a diva god!" Tony yells without turning. He was gonna repulsor one straight through that green golden mess of supposed armor.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
New York is safe. Tony isn't dead. Loki is apprehended – no Tony wasn't allowed to kill him-  Shawarma happened. All in days work. And still, everything looks grey. Bruce might stay so Tony starts making alterations to one of towers floor plans before he needs to tackle the rebuilding and the media. Somewhere along the blurry of the aftermath, Jarvis informs his creator that Thor Odinson is looking for an audience. It's actually the word 'audience' that snaps him from the daze his been in since the news.  
  
"Let him in." Tony tells settling the project aside as he looks up to see Goldilocks enter with a swish of his cape.  
  
"Man of Iron, may I spend this hour with you?" Thor asks and raises flask. Tony isn't gonna say no to alcohol.  
  
They're well on their way on getting drunk and Thor is regaling this ridiculous story about how he had to wear a dress for some scheme he and Loki had ended cooking up after getting into trouble when Tony smells it. Ozone, fresh rain and something akin to primal power and the inventor realizes the scent is Thor. For somewhere along drinking and absurd tales, Tony has ended leaning against the thunderer nearly sitting on his lap. Somehow it felt safe there against that hunk of muscle and rumble of a voice that can be surprisingly gentle. But it seems suddenly all wrong.  
  
"Why are you doing this? Why are you here point break?" Tony questions aloud mid-tale since brain to mouth filter never really works with him and Thor stops his story of something about Amora, Loki, and Ox to look at him with eyes so blue he hadn't realize can look so old.  
  
"You're hurting Man of Iron and one should not mourn alone. Thou should not weep alone. Son of Coul was a mighty man with a brave heart. I wish thou to let me share those tales of his bravery." Thor speaks with solemn respecting tone and somehow that and his presence – and maybe alcohol – is enough. Stark men are made of iron, but here Tony cracks. He shares all the stupid and silly things that made Phil Phil. All the odd gifts he got. All those escapes from world to Tony's workshop or to Agents apartment. About Tony's weird gifts to Phil, like that fancy tie that was almost like Kevlar and could be used as protection or weapon. Of regrets about things, he should have done. Days he should have gone to spend time with his Agent, random stuff. All the while Thor stays there to listen and sometimes comment on Son of Couls valor or wit. They talk about subjects that don't hurt that much, like Thor's shitty dad (Tony doesn't ofc say that one aloud, but boy does Howard have a kindred spirit in high places.) Thor tells about Loki as child, Asgard and rainbow bridge is somewhere there. Tony would love to meet Frigga, she sounds like a saint. They talk and drink through the night, about everything and nothing meaningful.  
  
And somehow it's okay.  
  
There's no grief sex or even desperate make out like things could have easily gone to. Instead, Thor's surprisingly gentle hand runs through Tony's hair where it has moved somewhere along the night, soothing and calming the buzzing mind that is Tony's geniuses. Bone-weary, emotionally and physically tired genius is lulled to rather surprisingly peaceful rest just before the dawn comes, in the arms of supposed god. Thor on other hand starts his vigil over the shorter man's rest. Man of Iron has earned this. He has earned so much more, but Thor has learned things.  
  
 He and Loki shall leave tomorrow, but Thor shall return. His certain Frigga will approve his chosen consort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! I found Grammarly.


	6. Made of Iron, blessed by lightning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hi heya! I meant ot post this as x-mas gift but got sick and all swamped by taking care of others so; belated Merry x-mas and happy new years! Surprise at end of text!  
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and special thank you for GraceColtq24 about the kudos system. I never knew this thing would be so popular. Hugs and cookies around! Now without further stalling-

As soon as Thor leaves, Tony dives headfirst into work, drowning everything out that isn't SI related or fixing New York. When Tony isn't delegating press or making new projects to fund the repairs, his at disaster sides aiding with areas deemed too dangerous for workers to access - leaving most of the repairs for the workers and volunteers. All the while making sure Stark Industries provides aid in any way they can. Besides the good PR they get, Tony has for the crouchy board members to salivate over the two military types of transport he launches for the field test. Transports doing a marvelous job to aid in clearing larger rubble as well as moving people and supplies through the harder spots. There are other benefits with the all-around construction as most of the coffee shops, restaurants and such can get back to their feet in some cases with lil'help from "renting" SI's newest pop-up kitchentm. Tony's still not sure why he modeled one of them to look like a yurt. Did he and Thor talk about it between drinking and stories? Anyhow time passes by in a blur and the genius keeps avoiding most of the renovating tower (Malibu house entirely) apart from Bruce and his lab. Brucie bear is a lifesaver in so many ways you can't even count them. It's true they don't see as often as he'd prefer, but Tony tries to keep the good image up for the public surviving the near end of Earth as they know it, since things are and will be sore for a while until something dazzling comes by. By all accounts he is not trying to suffocate the thoughts of failing another dear one – no don't think about Yinsen and the cave, back to the box somewhere deep you evil yet painful thoughts – Tony just isn't up for his usual game. His running on fumes some days and going overdrive on second. But the moment of peace of pure science between the physical and mental exhaustion process is heaven.  
  
The first time Tony really falls asleep after the whole shebang of clusterfuck he doesn't actually dream about wormholes, vast armies, and deep space. No. Tony dreams of a tall raven-haired man with startling blue eyes that appear almost aglow in shade of the arc, tossing him out of the window and Tony isn't certain afterward should he be worried for that he wishes then and there that he isn't saved. But in the dream there is no familiar armor enchasing him, instead, the pair of strong arms catches him denying the gravity the sweet embrace against certain doom and Tony knows it's Thor and not his supernanny-fanboy of a boyfriend. He fights the hold looking up, only to realize with horror that he sees the reindeer games stab Agent Agent with manic glee. A pained scream rips through his entire core as he tries in vain to reach the bleeding unassuming man who is dropped aside like discarded trash, but the strong arms hold him too firmly. To securely.  
  
Tony wakes up in cold sweat, silent scream, and confliction about his dream/nightmare. He flees to the workshop, curling onto WA-LY surrounded by bots and shakes through the entire movie about the recliners counterpart. But his safe/alive, C's dead and Thor's not here. Bruce needs to sleep and he doesn't need Tony's shit in his messed life. The blanket Tony tore with him is C's dull grey one and it feels all wrong and right at the same time, it's nauseating. He didn't even demand to see Phil. Next morning Tony doesn't feel okay, and not even slightest way happy. He has an epic argument with J about moving his unfinished gift to the storage unit. Away from reminding about something never to be. Tony's always been claimed futurist, but this one is hard to let go. Howard's voice reminds him 'Starks are made of Iron' and Tony spits the order to cart the half done invention away. More important things are demanding his attention. He can't fall now. He shoves all the pain, guilt and grief away and straightens himself.  
  
"I am Iron Man." sentence spoken in the past gives him strength and steels the resolve. Tony picks soldering iron and get's back to work. Life doesn't stop and he doesn't have the luxury to stop either. World and media won't let him. His A Stark.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
So three weeks pass on a blur. Or maybe four, the inventors not entirely sure if JARVIS isn't just trolling him because he had planned this; 'Let's celebrate we won the actual alien invasion with fireworks' "Tony no!" "Oh sorry Pep!" - it apparently got even his AI a lil'edgy after his creators improvised space expedition with a suit not modeled for such, even as it was a short visit. Really, just long enough for Tony to give the ol'death high-five and get back on track. Too much to do.  
  
But alas three (or four) weeks are suddenly gone since the event when Jarvis suddenly informs his creator about strange and local weather phenomenon just seconds before towers alarms start blaring, notifying about intrusion on the roof after large energy collision the structure received on exact same location. One Iron Man swooping into action later there is a familiar boom of the voice.  
  
"Man of Iron! By Norns, thou look well." Thor speaks for greeting accompanied by his vibrant energy and dazzling smile. Oh hey, that smile and his enthusiasm might explain few of those stories about him and his adventures. Because wow Tony forgets to speak back for a good minute and fifteen seconds and that is rare. But his a Stark so he regains his footing. Well, voice.  
  
"Thunderstruck! You didn't tell me you'd be dropping by! I don't even have anything prepared. Oh please tell me we don't have another invasion or alien lunatics running wild back here on Midgard." Tony pipes up with eager wonder while faceplate retracts his speech down spirals to sound all too much like spoiled royalty with an impending headache from old play - with hand waves and all - and this causes the thunder god look surprised and laugh heartily.  
  
"Nay friend Tony. I have come to give my aid as thou see most fit. Even as I must admit, that such is just excuse to share thy radiant company." Tony might have for a moment swooned like a school girl, in his head. But wow was that slightly old but very nice flattery. Thor's gravely seriousness sold it well.  
  
They end up spending the day by boosting morale with their aid and Thor's endless enthusiasms and words of encouragement for the workers and volunteers about their contribution. Afterwards, they take sky and enjoy few moments of peace by just flying and let the feel of freedom wash everything else away for a moment of peace. Tony feels lighter when they touch down back at the tower and offers to give Thor a feast of pop-tarts and whatever he fancies. Thor smiles brightly and offers the idea of them having this personal feast at the still intact balcony to marvel the city's resilience and the beauty of the sunset. Tony agrees and goes to fetch all needed, leaving Thor to look after him with admiration.  
  
Thor would like nothing more than to sweep Man of Iron – no, Tony - of his feet to ravage and worship him, but his mother reminded him patience works better in delicate matters such of heart. And Queen Frigga is a very wise woman. Besides this isn't just some conquest, this was his consort to be. The man was a bright star, full of vigor, brilliance equal to Loki's, charisma that was near hypnotizing. And his was still mourning for choice stolen from him. Thor pushes the gloomy thought away and focuses on Tony. For the man shines so bright it is no wonder people want to see him fly. And others want to tear his wings off. Just precious.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
They settle for the light mood picnic and exchange silly stories about embarrassing stories when they grew up. Tony falls asleep resting against Thor who spends a good while just enjoying the moment of peace and calm he has won with the inventor.  
  
A week passes in a blur of science with Bruce, making a new project for the R&D to start gleefully reverse engineer to see if they can crack it at all and random trips across NY with Thor with various outcomes. ("Pep, I didn't know you're not allowed to sit on Lady Liberty's head! Honest!")  
  
\- - - - -  
  
Tony's began to feel lighter - dare say happier these days. He starts to feel like he can finally let go and perhaps pursue something new...  
...and that's when JARVIS drops the bomb and Tony's life takes 360'  
-"Sir, I intercepted a message you should see."- J speaks up, breaking Tony's concentration. The worry in his tone is what pulled Tony from the world of numbers.  
  
"Display it." Tony says and feels dread wash over him when J takes too long time to actually do as asked. Then he forgets how to breathe.  
  
'Please tell me he didn't use the death card. Not in the shape to maim my boss. And it would kill my career to kill him.'  
  
Tony forcibly breaths, blinking the dark spots away, staring at the three lines. It takes longer than usual for him to notice another presence in the workshop, even as it isn't hostile it freaks him out until he sees the worried blue eyes and Tony just squeaks before he is given this all-enveloping hug.  
  
"All will be made right Tony, thus I swear." Thor murmurs into Tony's ear, his voice soft with the hidden rumble of thunder. It infuses in the brunets mind into strong resolve. Yeah, he can breathe, yeah things are not as they should, but absolutely nothing will stop him.  
  
'I'm Iron Man.'  
  
\- - - - -  
  
This isn't like one of those fairytale saves where Tony swoops in rescues Phil and they 'live happily ever after'- after that mindblowing kiss, nor is he storming in just to sock Phil for doing this to him. He's not even going to make Fury's life living hell. No. Tony has done this song and dance too many times, instead, he is angry with himself for falling for it, furious at Fury but mad at himself. It's not Phils fault he was in medically induced coma/death to keep him from expiring altogether. It's not Fury's fault Tony bought it like an idiot. He should have known better. Tony is absolutely livid with himself and that means only one way to do this.  
  
Tony sends worlds most terrifying person at Fury. And Fury will regret the day he did this scam since Pepper Potts makes even devil quiver in his domain. Meanwhile, Tony and Thor casually stroll into the S.H.I.E.L.D.-medical compound and wheel certain very special agent man out of the place for more private talk. This means Pepper went to rip Fury a new one while Tony and Thor made the perfect breaking 'n' entering into one of the top-secret agency's place and strolled out like a boss.  
  
\- - - - -  
  
They are not okay, this isn't okay. But Tony isn't some whiny kid from teenage romance novel and they will talk – even if it gives him hives – because they need to talk. And well Thor and Bruce insisted he'd hear the other side of the story. So okay baby steps. But hey, he agreed that talk is needed. Self-high five. His just not certain will he like what he hears...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we get to the good stuff! On next chapter! Date shenanigans! As this was supposed to be x-mas gift and I meant to do 12days of x-mas... well I'm letting you lovely readers offer ideas to addon the chaos of dating and I'll pick 12 of them to add on the IronThunderAgent's next chapter to come. I'll probalby love all of them but I decided that 12 should do. You got 1,5 weeks to offer ideas. Okay let's make it two weeks and I'll then toss you guys something fun to cackle about. Leave suggestions on comments! I so love comments! Warm hugs, have a great start of year and enjoy fireworks!


	7. Not drunk enough for this - but who ever is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hey! This fic reached 300 kudos!!! I never dreamed any of my text could reach that many likes!  
> Of course this means I just had to toss you guys with this "filler" *Squeee-!*  
> You guys, I have no idea how, but this became more fluffier than I meant it to be. Enjoy!

It's really embarrassing how easily Tony and Thor stroll inside the top secret building, but it's all in the attitude and since both are raised in greatest showman stage they do the power act well. As long as you look like you know where you are and ooze power you're golden. No, seriously. Thor alone radiates enough leader aura for an entire army. Tony himself has that aura of 'I own this place so fuck off' so they combo well. So well they don't need to speak a word and still manage to get in, navigate the corridors and bypass few checkpoints without anyone even giving them a second glance. It does help, that J keeps guard rotation and counter for Tony so they pass everyone before they're really noticed. Tony really feels embarrassed on SHIELD's account.  
  
Phil Coulson's door opens with quiet hiss leaving Tony to try to keep himself intact and professional despite what he witnesses. Of course, P has managed to sneak from the bed and is doing his super-secret-ninja-agent thing he does best and has gotten a drop on a nurse or such orderly. So yes, team double-T has arrived just in time to see Phil Coulson finish his capture/bondage-hogtie (and isn't that kinky image?) and turn to look who enters. Swell of relief is squashed down by anger, but the relieved sob that escaped Tony's lips is not lost for anyone in the room. Well except the nurse, since P immediately knocked the guy out. Tony pulls himself together immediately with efficiency gained from years dealing with media and makes quick assessment. Yes, the man is upright, but no, judging by the intel J stole from his medical and displays on Tony's sunglasses he shouldn't be walking about just yet.   
  
”Tony-”  
  
”No, nope. Not now. I can't- Just... get to the wheelchair, we're getting out of this sad excuse of a secret base.” Tony interjects and Phil lowers his hand, giving just the faintest nod. It is the testament how much the agent must be still hurting that he doesn't oppose. Or maybe he really hates hospitals as much as Tony does. They haven't exactly traded hospital escape stories. There hadn't been a need.  
  
Bless Thor for taking it all in a stride. As he does most of the wheeling and other heavy work. Well, he refuses the help with some Asgardian honor code thing as an excuse and who Tony is to tell the guy no? Let's face it, the inventor himself isn't right now sound enough on his mind to be any other aid than stroll in and out looking like highest in pecking order and provide the getaway vehicle. Tony feels immensely grateful for the brief memory flashes about Thor asking him to teach the prince to drive one of these 'steedless wagons'. That one might be riot. With Agent-Agent in the car and them out of compound grounds finally relaxes the atmosphere enough for Tony to allow Thor to put on some music. Smooth jazz fills the van and removes the silence. It's oddly fitting.  
  
”I can't believe they let you cart me out of there just like that.” Phil says with dejected sigh as he rubs his forehead to most likely alleviate an impending migraine. Tony is certain there's going to be a very nice, detailed and expertly compiled file about need for security changes in near future at Fury's desk. It will be thing of beauty and Fury will have an aneurysm while reading it. Or maybe ulcer.   
  
”Why the doubt Son of Coul? Should we not succeed to free you from anyone holding you from those you care for?” Thor asks with the barest hint of as if he'd been insulted by even thought of failure. Thor was getting poptarts for life. The guy was not given enough credit, he got Coulson shut up just like that. Tony would kiss the blond, but it would be hard because he was driving and there was an audience, an audience he wasn't certain how to react to just yet.   
  
-    -    -    -    -   
  
-”Welcome back Agent Coulson.”- Jarvis greets him with emotion void tone. Or maybe there is the slightest bit of disappointment in there. Tony really is genius, for his creation – his son – to be so humane with just sound alone. Even if it seems to be hostile to him.  
  
”So his that mad at me Jarvis?” Phil asks half certain of the answer even as it still hurts. Jarvis had taken to call him Phil when there wasn't anything official going on. Or with any nickname, his creator could come up with, since the AI seemed to find it equally funny as Tony did.  
  
-”No Agent Coulson, I am. Sir is mostly mad at himself. Which he shouldn't, it was stressful moment and Director Fury did all he could to keep Sir from reaching you after Loki attacked you.”-  Jarvis speaks with his ever polite English accent. His disapproval is showing in other ways. Like the fact, the AI didn't speak to him before Phil had been left in one of the spare bedrooms on Tony's penthouse while others went to fetch stuff and dress more casually.  
  
Thor resided currently on bedroom closest to Tony's, Phil on furthest away. 'Keep your enemies close' was typical Tony behavior, Phil had seen it first hand. It was a sound strategy that the Stark prodigy used with ruthless efficiency to keep power balance in his favor even if meant to speak with unpleasant people. He just wished he wasn't regarded as such. The brunet wasn't forgiving type. He had seen that crack in geniuses mask along the pain and relief clouding those coffee brown eyes that appeared to shine when the man was excited or happy. And inadvertently Phil had become one to take that shine away like many before him.  
  
Hitting your boss didn't seem so bad idea now that you thought about it.  
  
”Jarvis I-” he was interrupted by door opening and Thor entering in with somber smile. T-shirt claiming 'Thunderstruck' with cartooned Thor screamed Tony's influence in clothes shopping, and the way Thor seemed proudly wear it spoke volumes.  
  
”Your Highness. I believe I forgot to thank you for your aid in the rescue.” Phil greeted the incoming alien god.  
  
”Thou knows why I aided Son of Coul.” Thor speaks up and moves to stand by the bed the agent has been told to stay put.  
  
”Friend Jarvis says we shall soon feast in honor of your return from Hel, but I need to ask you a boon Son of Coul. A wronging needs to be righted before merriment can be had.” the blond adds and this somehow worries more than any angered words the man could speak.  
  
”What is it? Please explain so I can make things right.” Phil speaks back cautiously and receives approving nod in return. He leans bit closer and it is both intimidating as it confining.  
”Friend Tony is hurting and thou needs to share words before animosity can fester between thy both and rot what thy both hold dear. You need rest it is true, but thy both need in order for healing to began and words are needed to dispel the spell of mistrust.” Thor's words, as wise as they are, are punch in the gut. Thor is offering branch for Phil even as this could be his chance to keep Tony to himself to woo without competition. But the Asgardian prince seems to be noble to core. And Phil can respect that.  
  
-    -    -    -    -   
  
So here he is, Phil Coulson wheeling into the workshop by elevator with aid of Doctor Banner, Thor, and Jarvis with one goal in mind. Entering the lab succeeds only with Jarvis reluctant help, aid garnered with many promises like the one letting AI shoot him if he messes this up. Widows comment about the AI being next Skynet was on that moment fitting even if wrong. Jarvis was above such flimsy programs.  
  
Phil frowns when he sees his ex?-boyfriend as Tony is fiddling with something delicate. Delicate means he has denied all thoughts altogether and focus on creating. Geniuses coping mechanism. It brought marvelous things into world but enabled the man to ignore things he shouldn't ignore. Phil takes moment just to memorize and enjoy watching Tony Stark at work. As it was more precious thing to see then all the intel and money in the world. Creating Tony was mixture of child-like wonder and happiness of one loving what they do. It was pure art. Even if most of what he did was beyond comprehension for most of the population, it was still a marvel to watch.  
  
But things need to be said and done so Phil has to break the illusion of nothing is wrong and he clears his throat.  
  
Seems he didn't give Tony enough credit as the man doesn't even flinch, shoulder blades tensing up is indication Tony wasn't as lost to world of creation and numbers as Phil thought he'd be.  
  
”I-Tony we need to talk.” Phil starts and instantly knows he picked wrong words as Tony's head snaps up the pain, fear and acceptance in his eyes are heartbreaking to see, the mask is in place as shield to keep the man going. And it's all wrong.  
  
”I understand. No need for long talks. I won't bo-”   
  
”Stop right there. Don't make me stand from this chair, you know I will if it's you.” he interjects fast because Tony sounded all weak and defensive and that's all kinds of wrong.  
  
”I'm not breaking up with you. It's not that kind of talk. I mean unless you want to break up with me for letting Fury do such thing for you even for second-”   
  
”You exactly couldn't stop him being nearly dead and all! I should have known-!”  
  
”Nobody can think straight in such moment! It was low and unhanded and I should punch Fury for even thinking about it. He should never have-”  
  
”I fell for it like amateur! I've played this game since I was five! I should have pressed on! I should have demanded to see you! I left you there!”  
  
”You were blindsided! You needed to save the world!”  
  
”My world had burned!”  
  
They're both panting after the emotional shouting match their talk had slowly escalated into, Tony leaning against work table hands gripping at edge, Phil sitting in the wheelchair leaning forward hands gripping the handles. Only sounds are their heave for breath and hum from machines. As they both look each other into eyes silent conversation/debate going onwards.  
  
Then the tension drops as they both dissolve into hysteric laughing fit that carries on until Jarvis tells them the food has been delivered.  
  
”We're a mess.” Phil speaks up and Tony looks at him with small mirth in his eyes.  
  
”Hot mess.” he agrees and they share crooked tiny smiles before they sober up.  
  
”I'm not giving up on you Tony. But I know we both know what happened cannot be ignored.” Phil speaks up even as he feels all kinds of unfair to speak those words aloud. The twinkle in brunets eyes fades as he runs hands through that unruly mess of hair with defeated sigh.  
  
”Yeah...I need some time to trust you again. I know it's unfair as you didn't have any say in this, but I can't help it.” Tony stammers back and looks all kinds of kicked puppy and adorable, the look of surprise is endearing when Phil has moved to cup his cheek and lifts his head to look at him.  
  
”I wouldn't have you in any other way than being you.” Phil says and feels sappy but the tiny coy smile, Tony looking down with a slight blush. Appearing more relaxed than when they started to speak is all Phil ever needs. They're far from alright, but they're okay.  
  
-”Agent Coulson I suggest you sit back down before I need to inform Doctor Banner about your misbehaving against doctors orders.”- Jarvis comments amusedly and Tony squawks pushing Phil all the way back to chair.  
  
”You will not upset gummy bear! Brucie would never forgive me and I wouldn't have my awesome science bro!” Tony frets and fusses and they move to meet Bruce and Thor at kitchen area. The knowing smile Thor gives to him over Tony and Bruce arguing about salad dressing with nod is humbling.  
  
This race for Tony's heart is about to begin.


	8. That's not a cookie cutter...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijinks are about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG it's alive! Hi all! I'm back to make chaos on this pairing. <3 Missed me?  
> Thank you so much for all the comments. Mmmm delicious.  
> Once again sadly only Grammarly is fixing my mess of errors.

Tony get's peace and quiet for seventeen hours thirty-six minutes and fifty-eight seconds.

The time started when Bruce had all but manhandled Coulson back to bed for his rest and given hilarious threats if the man wouldn't comply with the physicist demands. Thor was distracted with questions directed at Jarvis so the genius had taken the moment to slip away and behave like a sensible adult; hide. This meant Tony didn't head to the workshop as usual or to the bedroom. He opted to ride the elevator into R&D department and commandeer one of the private workshops at the side of the large rooms. The new Stark Industry hearing aids were going to be on the market before Christmas. That is - should they survive the initial test phase. On the bright side, he had made kickass headphones as a byproduct. Eat your heart out Apple.

Insistent knocking is greatly annoying and of course, there just had to be some new hireling who didn't know about Tony's random moments when he dropped by at R&D to work there – usually when Pep or Rhodey locked him from his own workshop – and most likely thought someone was hogging all the workspace for naught. Tony thought to let whoever was knocking to keep going until they got bored and left, as he had just gotten an outline of an idea for something intriguing and wanted to be left alone to see where it took him. Whoever was knocking sure was persistent.

”F-ine. Lose this company few millions because you couldn't stay away.” he crumbled as he abandoned the new idea for a later date, reaching to open the door and give his least impressed-glare  
at whoever kept knocking. That idea flew out of the window when Tony realized just who was behind the door.

”Megavolt, what brings you to my secret hideout? Did you vanquish many of my minions?” Thor appears perplexed and trying to figure out what he was being asked about and Tony vows to give the guy crash course on modern media. Tony's dropping some damn good lines without a proper audience. Truly a tragedy.

”Noble Jarvis has voiced, friend Tony. I have come bearing mighty feast!” Thor says with a wide smile and brings something between them right under Tony's nose. Smell is heavenly.

”J made you bring me a pizza?” Tony's voice betrayed how incredulous he felt about the whole thing of his AI ordering the alien prince around. Thor's smile widens.

”Nay friend Tony. Noble Jarvis mentioned thy lapse of eating when ingenuity is grasping thy mind and guiding thy hand.” Thor says as Tony finally relents to the sudden bang of hunger taunted by the scent of pizza from his favorite Italian restaurant.

”So I ventured out for a feast of thy worthiness.” Tony nearly chokes on his slice of pizza. Thor spoke like this was an important quest. Like Tony was important enough to go out on busy N.Y. And get him a friggin pizza - that was still warm mind you. The guy was a prince – didn't princelings leave this kind of stuff for servants or something???

”I-"  
"Would thou honor me, by venturing out again to seeth the wonders of Midgard with me?" Thor blurts out before Tony can really say anything. The engineer shoves the half eaten pizza into Thor's hands, missing the dejected expression on the prince's face.

"Saddle up buckaroo if we're taking this 'quest of noble feast' out there we might as well do it with style." Tony says with a grin so warm it's infectious.

 

Tony meant for them to venture into local restaurants for good food... he should have known by now that he still didn't do half measures. Tony and Thor are spotted at streets of Venice, pointing at sights, eating pizza and gelato. Tony might have unleashed a whole new level of beast the moment Thor tastes the Italian ice cream. This Darcy girl Thor mentions as he eats the whole selection gelato dish makes Tony wonder should he get the random side kick a tub of the good stuff, just to "culture-up" the food heathen for she had forgotten to introduce Thor the holy grail of dessert – Ice cream. (Being in New Mexico was not excuse, nooo- okay it was a good excuse. This Darsay was gonna get Gelato so she would know better next time.)

Then Thor noticed gondoliers and the people in gaudy dresses, who were the photo traps. And of course, Thor wanted to have a picture of them with the 'masked mystic' to commemorate their outing. 

”Thor, this is actually pretty com-” sentence died on his lips as Tony saw the thunderers face. Thor seemed so excited and proud of himself standing there already for their turn to 'memorize their joyous day' it leaves Tony feeling that unfamiliar warmth at the pit of his stomach. And he doesn't have the heart to say no. They don't just take a picture with the fancily dressed photography baiter. Oh no. Somehow Thor speaks trio of Carabinieri they pass by some quirk of fate to join them for a picture at the local pizzeria. The inventor doesn't even mind paying the pizza's for the three law enforcers since Thor is so excited about the whole ordeal. Tony is pretty sure they're not so welcome after that gondola race. (Pepper groans when she finds out and buys herself a new pair of Jimmy Choo's for payment to deal this particular madness.)

As they hike at the side of Mount Vesuvius as the sun sets Tony wonders how the heck this happened. It's fleeting thought as Thor shouts him to come see the view. They sleep under the star lid sky talking about travels and culture mishaps they have both blundered through.

Tony doesn't even notice that he has smiled the entire time of their "short" outing. Thor is pleased his effort with friend Jarvis as relaxed the brunet. Maybe they should take a trip to Nidavellir, Thor has seen Tony create works of marvel. Surely he would love to see other master forgers at work. 

 

Bruce finds them after he wakes up on the sound of clatter and muffled arguments as he shuffles into the kitchen, only to stop at the doorway. If only to assure himself what he sees is real.

"What are you two doing?" He asks feeling ridiculed. Tony yelps dropping the bowl he was holding and it hits the ground with a loud bang, spreading the batter everywhere, Thor instead drops the weird looking metal piece and his hammer flies to his hand, crashing through the marble counter breaking one of the edges in the process. The whole kitchen is in a mess with flour, pieces of egg, butter and others things messing kitchen surfaces. The intact ones.

 

"I just got that fixed!" Tony whines looking dejectedly at the sudden wreckage. Bruce feels sorry for startling his new science friend and is about to move to get the dustpan when Jarvis halts him on his steps.

-"Sir and Prince Odinson are attempting to make cookies, Doctor Banner."- Bruce looks up at the ceiling and then at the startled duo. Thor has lowered his hammer and moved to help the fussing engineer to clean the wreck. 

"Baking?" Bruce feels silly to even ask, he aims his question at the genius, who waves with his hand about and has gotten few tiny robots to command on the cleanup. 

"Cookies indeed Buttercup! But it's hush-hush since the secret ninja-agent has a super hearing." Tony carries on and nudges one of the robots away from the batter bowl.  
"Aye friend Banner! We are on a noble quest to cheer the mood of our battle brother!" Thor exclaims enthusiastically and lifts the earlier metal object to show Bruce a very odd metal piece that appears to be... eagle-shaped?

"That's.... not a cookie cutter." Bruce says taking wary steps in the kitchen, wondering can the place be saved after the two eager bakers. Tony grins with Thor and that just spells trouble.

"Of course we wouldn't use something boring as round cookie cutter. I made a better one!" Tony exclaims and picks the metal eagle from Thor to shove it in Bruce's hands.

"See? We made it super secret spy logo!" He says with enthusiasm belonging to an eager child. Bruce blinks for few seconds and then surrenders with a chuckle. Leave it to Tony Stark to give the flying fudge about normality.

"Say Brucie bear, since you're a chemist, might help us on mission 'cheer crumpy spy'? Thor's on rolly pin duty as he somehow gets the dough as even each time." 

"Aye friend Banner! Join us on our quest for cookies." Thor declares as he swipes the table with the back of his hand to clean most of the rubble there. One of the weird tiny Wall-E-like robots zooms to eat the mess.

"Tony... is that Wall-E?" Bruce asks and Tony turns to look at Bruce, holding half done patter in the bowl. Thor seems to prepare the table for the new trial of cookie making. They look oddly homey and at ease in the kitchen, mess aside.

"Oh right, you haven't seen them before. That's Wall-O. Wall-I and Wall-A just left to empty their containers." Tony says enthusiastically and moves to hand the half done batter to Bruce.

"Come on Green Bean, help us and Big Green and have cookies as well." Tony says and flutters his eyelashes in a way Bruce is certain has been declared criminal in few states. He caves in with a sigh, missing Thor's knowing grin. Tony designs himself on the oven duty and brewing them all drinks. They actually manage to make quite a large patch of cookies without blowing up the kitchen. Coulson even compliments the cookies. Even if he looks slightly troubled for the Shield-logo Tony had insisted they'd do on each cookie.


	9. So you made tiny robot army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Oh, I forgot. Remember to read the chapter before this. I switched the delay note with an actual chapter. Oki, thanks, allon-sy~

After the improvised trip to Italy, Tony is again busy with Stark Industries projects and upgrades for the suit. He tries his best to be a good host and all, but Pepper has booked two meeting at the same time on different parts of states and Tony has to attend the other one. At least he could wheedle Pepper to give him the R&D one. And it only cost him special design bag from Karl Lagerfeld or some other designer, Tony keeps forgetting which Pep prefers most.  
  
Tony's short trip to California becomes longer when he gets excited about the break through the 'minion squadron' at the branch has stumbled upon. Jarvis sends the inventor updates about C's condition and about possible cyclops infestations. So far all calm and quiet. He knows that won't last long but really likes the fact it's ok for now. Bruce calls him on day four.  
  
-"So that two days tops trip."- Bruce's voice is absolutely smug through the speaker and Tony can imagine the mild smile the man is no doubt sporting at the very moment. Tony snorts as he relocates to a more secluded spot to keep the conversation private.  
  
"Oh, you know me, never doing anything in halves." Tony says offhandedly as he scans the grounds, noticing the day has mostly passed as the sun has slowly started to set.  
  
"How's the fort? Keeping it together?" Tony asks as he searches his pockets for pen and paper, an idea has popped in his mind about a new type of train and Tony wants to pitch the idea for the lackey army for them to tinker with when any of them has free time. Tony'll just give them an outline.  
  
-"Coulson is on a mend as expected and Thor has taken upon himself to search information from the depths of the internet."- Bruce tells.  
  
"All help us. Keep him far away from soap opera." Tony says with fake worry and hears the other snort. He grins.  
  
-"Speaking of keeping far away... you made robot army?"- Tony groans even as he nearly bursts into giggles.  
  
"Brucie bear, imagine them more of ducklings. WA-LY was lonely and Dumm-E is actually quite accomplished bot herder, who knew."  
  
-"Focus Tony."- Bruce says and Tony blows rasberry.  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
-"Maybe I miss my science bro."- Bruce's deadpan makes Tony feel those odd flips in his stomach return. He clears his throat.  
  
"Well, this should be done by tomorrow noon the latest. How about I bring you guys some Thai when I get back?" Tony asks trying to veer from scary paths. ' _Don't think about Ty, dang it_.'  
  
-"Okay, I'll get Thor to call you if you don't show up by twelve."- Bruce mock threatens and Tony gives an exaggerated gasp.  
  
"You wouldn't-!" Tony rasps. Thor hadn't really learned to use the phone yet and had caused few hearing incidents on his learning curve so far. It wasn't anything shocking per say. He just didn't notice he was shouting on the phone.  
  
-"See you tomorrow."- Bruce says and the line is dead. Tony crumbles under his breath and forgoes searching for paper and heads inside to draw the minions the schematics and outline idea. He was gonna speed the process up and surprise Bruce with morning donuts. Eight' cup of coffee should fix the lack of sleep problem until Tony could crash on WA-LY back at the tower. He should be safe from C's and Thor's odd courting game until C would be better, so Tony still has time to try comprehend what he has ended in the middle.  
  
  
The genius has just reached the runway and has decided to skip the plane and take the armor and just fly back to good ol'N.Y. when the air fills ear-splitting screech and Tony clamps hands to cover his ears, cursing like a sailor as he ducks against hangar wall. Never seeing the strike that causes the world fade into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lookie I tried to make cliffy.


	10. Damsel in this dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! I mean - yeah it has been busy and exciting and idea-rich time between last chapter and now. Sorry for taking so long. I started new school so I should hopefully be able to start writing this again in more normal intervals.  
> Comments are fuel for my muse and sure way to get faster updates. ;)

-”Mr.Odinson, Doctor Banner, Agent Coulson. I can't reach sir.”- JARVIS worried voice interrupts their breakfast preparations and before Coulson can even voice his initial request the ever-present A.I has reflected hologram above the kitchen table, neatly describing in great detail Tony's last known whereabouts. Along with his rescheduled flight plan.  
  
”Jarvis, this states Tony was going to return this morning. Why haven't you contacted us sooner?” the agent asks looking up to one of the hidden cameras. A habit he had picked up from the inventor. Bruce was going through the timetable and Thor seemed agitated.  
  
-”Sir has often planned and rescheduled his plans on a moments notice Agent Coulson. There is also the ever-present possibility that one of the employes manages to stall him and Sir doesn't have a moment to notify that to me each time when such a moment occurs. I waited the usual estimated average time it takes Sir to get away and to notify me why he has run late.”- Jarvis informs and then another picture is projected and Coulson recognizes it as satellite map. There is a marked spot with dot and time stamp that reads 'connection lost'.  
  
-”Sir's phone has not moved and the armor still waits for him at the airfield.”- there's emotion behind the sentence, Coulson tears his gaze from dot to look at the two other men by the table, seeing telltale signs of green in Banner's eyes as well as his knuckles, as for Thor it was more subtle - well as subtle as unscheduled thunderstorm rumbling suddenly ominously nearby can be called subtle.  
  
”Jarvis, prepare the jet,” Coulson calls out and forsakes the wheelchair, feeling little surprised that Banner doesn't say anything about it. He shares a look with Thor and they nod.  
  
”Aye, let us find dear Tony posthaste.” Thor agreed with a voice that promised retribution to anyone responsible for missing of their genius.  
  
-    -    -    -    -      
  
Tony comes to hearing somebody humming a lullaby of all things. Seriously, a lullaby. How messed up it was that someone was humming lullaby actually caused him to go on high alert. Tony has his less than perfect childhood to thank for that. Back to the lullaby at hand, Tony has to wonder if they are trying to lull him to false security or is there another person here? Or maybe the person in charge of guarding him had gotten bored. It has happened before when people had miscalculated their dosage of a particular combo of drugs injected on the billionaire. On top of that, Tony's head felt eerily similar to the horrible hangover he had had after Rhodey had made him stop drinking the week after Edwin Jarvis' funeral. It had been a miracle he hadn't needed to have stomach pumped but who cared. The closest person to ever bear the mantle of father figure had passed away and it had crushed the young genius back then. Rhodey – the hero, love of Tony's life (platonic) – had collected the pieces and aided Tony to collect himself. The hangover had been epic, just like the one now. Only difference? Tony sadly knew the difference between hangover and concussion. This was definitely concussion, yay. A mild one, hopefully, or he might just throw up whatever food he had eaten last.  
  
Killer a headache counted for and possible vertigo in the prospect of near future, Tony tried his best to gather more intel before he really would face the waking world. It was obvious he hadn't been meant to be awake yet, judging by the way people spoke near him without worry if their captive could hear them. Big mistake, that is if Tony could make any real sense of the words that seemed to bounce all over in his head, but he blamed his headache for that. The bounding really threatened to evolve into one of those migraine type hells Tony hated with vengeance. Solid pressure on his hands and legs confirmed that at least somebody was smart enough to try to neutralize his famous habit to blow people up. It was their own stupidity to bound the hands on the front and not the back. Genius decided to discreetly try to move but noticed soon that that option was out. Delirious sounding giggle interrupted the talking and Tony wondered for a moment what was funny until his foggy brain supplied the fact it was Tony who had giggled – oh. Well no one could blame him – they possibly did but screw them – it's not every day that Tony Stark gets tied like bondage mannequin on his kidnapping. The hilarious part was that Tony was fully clothed when someone finally decided to get him into shibari, the billionaire at least found it hilarious.  
  
”Jesus Andrew, how hard did you hit him?” someone voices, or maybe bitches, or it's maybe in Tony's own head.  
  
”Never mind how hard I hit, why is he awake already!?” And-something hisses and Tony tries to regain his composure, but it doesn't work. So screwing the pretend to be out like a light Tony tries to open his eyes. Oh, blindfold, cute. Another pout of giggles escape the geniuses lips. It's just so silly.  
  
”What's so funny Stark!?” someone snarls as they grab Tony by labels of his jacket and shake him. Tony can't help the shit eating grin he has as he finally calms down little.  
  
”How screwed you are.” Tony deadpans unable to not add more. ”I just got from the phone with the Hulk. I promised to bring him donuts.” He can just imagine their confusion. And Tony giggles again. Okay, the concussion was most likely bad if Tony couldn't stop giggling. Or maybe they had given him something earlier.  
  
”You don't go between the green bean and his donuts,” Tony adds with all the seriousness he can muster, it is likely lacking as he is rewarded with a blow to the gut that has the inventor involuntarily curl as far as he can. He vaguely hears them argue about how to handle him as pain enters his neck.  
'Aww fuck-' voices become muffled and the world is again behind soft cotton and blackness.  
  
-    -    -    -    -      
  
Coulson leans on the cane Banner insisted he has to use as he reviews the video footage the second time, his grip tight on the handle. He watches from the video as brunet saunders towards airstrip and for the waiting jet seemingly in good spirits judging by the body language when everything seemingly goes to hell. Tony staggers, hands moving to cover his ear and he goes sideways few steps to support himself against wall clearly in pain. The poor genius doesn't get to see the three shady persons appear behind hangar corner, one coming in and knocking the man unconscious. That's one man who will regret his life choices when Phil gets his hand on him. As soon as Tony is out one of them fiddles with something and other two manhandle the now limb billionaire with them. Tony's phone is left behind along with his belt which would surprise others, but Phil had insisted a few months back to Tony to start carrying tracking devices with him. That was after someone had tried to take him and Tony had told ruffled agents that it wasn't his first rodeo. The idea of Tony being used to kidnappings and the attempted kidnappings was something that didn't sit well with Phil. He had ”kidnapped” the man to Phil's own apartment for the weekend and Clint had dropped by on the first day to share stories of ops gone wrong and food and then left telling the two have some lovey-dovey time. Phil took a deep breath forcibly calming himself the agent pulled his Stark phone from his pocket and dialed a number.  
  
”Hawkeye, are you and Widow free?” was only hello he gave to Clint. The archer had dropped by earlier to congratulate the older agent for still being alive and threatened to kill him himself if the man would let Fury pull another stupid one like that. He had agreed on that promise.  
  
”Red's gone to fetch intel on smuggling ring or resupplying her vodka reserves. What's up?” the archer answered back. There wasn't much noise on the background, which was telling that Clint was likely catching a nap at Phil's apartment or at Tower. Tony had apparently pulled Clint aside and told him he could crash there anytime when they both had believed one very special agent Phil Coulson to be dead. It had soothed Phil's mind to know that Barton would have kept Tony company eventually as they both were snarky bastards towards each other in a nonhostile manner.  
  
”I need you to check SHIELD's file on Tony's known enemies with loose morals. Someone took him.” there's very impressive curse litany on another end of call before Clint responded.  
  
”Who is stupid enough to do that after the display on New York? I mean we both know how well last time he got kidnapped turned out for his captors.” Phil gives the barest hint of a smile as he runs the video again, keeping sharp eye on the details.  
  
”Someone who seemingly doesn't value their life,” he tells the archer and hears the other cackle aloud. Hawkeye agrees to call as soon as he can and tells Phil to get the eccentric man back in one piece. Oh and not to kill too many people. That was too much paperwork even for Phil who was uncrowned king of paperwork. Barton's words. Phil makes no promises as he ends the call to go rendezvous with Banner and Thor who stayed by the airfield to check that the plane hangar holding the armor hadn't been breached and look for clues there. Whoever had been this stupid was going to suffer big time. Phil just had to make sure he got part of the fun since Thor was clearly going for vengeance route. Banner had looked little green on the irises earlier. Tony stark lured very powerful people to himself Phil mused as he hobbled towards the jet.  
  
-    -    -    -    -    

  
Waking the second time feels like a miracle and hell at the same time. Tony throws up and is glad someone was smart enough to make sure he wouldn't choke because goon #45 was an idiot. There's a marching band using his skull was rehearsal room and that sucks big time. It's half blessing half curse that Tony is still blindfolded. It's annoying and proves that at least someone reads their homework. But it also leaves him at a major disadvantage since Tony works best when he can take in his surroundings to devise plans. He has seemingly been relocated into some kind of room, maybe he is not sure, but Tony is now secured on a chair that after little wiggle is certainly bolted to the floor. Smart move and point to whoever was in charge. One thing was sure, okay few things. Tony still had the arc reactor in his chest – which is very good – and he was not wearing his suit anymore – which instead what the heck!? If Tony wasn't still so out of it he would have bet a good sum that someone had weird kinks and had gotten him into a dress. But with a blindfold, it wasn't so sure.  
  
Tony instinctively tensed as he heard a click, trying his best to listen since he couldn't see. Someone opened a door and there was clear muttering under the breath, it sounded crumpy. Someone left the room and yelled to other people most likely the mess Tony had made on the floor...maybe carpet, he wasn't certain. His head bounded and mouth tasted foul after heaving what meager contents Tony had had.  
  
”My apologizes Mister Stark, my men usually are better than this.” a low baritone voice speaks, it has a hint of an accent and Tony mentally crosses his fingers and hopes that this isn't some remains of ten rings. That was just no-no in so many levels. The same voice offers him water with promises that it isn't poisoned or anything else and Tony hates himself, but he has to get the acid taste from his mouth so he dares to take a gulp of water. It tastes just water and Tony counts it as small mercies.  
  
”Any chances we could actually look each other in the eye while we have this casual chat?” Tony quips as he keeps his voice light. The constant dark is getting on his nerves, but at least it's only momentary, or so he hopes. It would be stupid to blind him, but people had stupid ideas since Tony was a genius and they weren't.  
  
”I'm afraid that has to wait for a while Mister Stark, you see I am a man who likes his privacy and we don't know each other that well yet.” Tony tries to list all the men with accents he has come across that have ever given him creeps or he has flirted with for fun. A headache does not aid on that. Some else enters the room and they do something judging by the clatter of items placed on the table – so there's a table, nice – and metallic clank and slosh. Okay, so no carpet on the floor, good to know. Neither speaks before the door closes again. So whatever was transpiring was a delicate matter. Tony was not good with delicate matter when he didn't give a flying fig about the said matter.  
  
”So are we playing ten questions or is this some sort of weird fifty shades of bad ideas?” Tony asks wriggling his fingers just to check all the digits were there and he was starting to get restless, no headache could keep Tony's mind quiet for long. Large hand covers Tony's left hand, causing him to still, it's warm and smooth, that usually meant for a man of entitlement – people with money and bad ideas.  
  
”It think any idea involving famous Tony Stark is not a bad idea.” baritone voice carries on and Tony just wants to go to tower and bribe Brucie to do science with him and show Tony how he boils the tea so Tony can bring C some as revenge for that time Tony had cracked a rib and was banned from coffee for a week. Usual stuff – as he was so done with kidnappings.  
  
”Yeah about great ideas – I told earlier to your goons that this was a bad idea, I mean I promised Hulk donuts before midday, which reminds me is it still Friday or did I again skip a day? Second is that there will be under no circumstances good outcome for you if I'm not leaving here like now. And please tell me I'm not wearing a dress, I don't even want to know who had that idea in the first place if it is true-” Other hand pressed against Tony's mouth cutting his usual babble and possibly bruising Tony's face with the grip.  
  
”I'd suggest you would shut up now before we need to make unsavory choices.” his captor told him and Tony decided that he'd label the guy Ten Ring member anyhow since he was otherwise drawing a blank. The door opened with little more force than it was necessary and Tony heard the man snap at the incomer only for him to flinch, huh.  
  
”And I suggest thou remove thy hands of tony unless thou want to lose them.” Thor's familiar commanding voice speaks up and Tony feels giddy as well as surprised upon that entry. He hears the familiar sound of the safety is removed.  
  
”And I wholeheartedly agree.” Phil Coulson says and Tony actually gives muffled noise of surprise, well Tony was certain they might be looking for him, but he just wasn't - yeah nope, not going there. Short scuffle transpires and Tony is so frustrated he is still blindfolded and bound so he can only listen to the fray. Someone presses their hand to Ton's ear and he flinches from sudden contact only to realize someone had supplied him with an earpiece.  
  
-”Please stop getting kidnapped, Sir. I don't think my mechanical heart can handle so many of them.”- Jarvis drones and Tony can't stop the weak laugh that sounds nearly like a sob.  
  
”Sorry J. Maybe I should become a hermit.” He jokes feeling immensely calmer with Jarvis voice in his ear.  
  
”Only if you hermit in the tower you stupid insomniac.” Someone says beside him and Tony realizes it's his favored featherbrain. Wow, Tony must have been out of it for a moment. Someone cuts the binds and Tony immediately reaches for the blindfold, yanking it off and blinking against the harsh light, he doesn't yet dare to stand up since world immediately does tilt in axis and Clint presses Tony's shoulder for moment before he goes to join the fray that seemingly happens in decently decorated room that just screams middle east and Tony hates being right.  
  
-”Sir, your Agent is waiting with your white horse.”- Jarvis tells him and Tony looks down to see Arabic clothing that might have been to aid smuggle him to country unnoticed. He hopes they are still in some sort of embassy since JARVIS's voice is clear.  
  
”It's not a dress!” Tony hisses to Jarvis and finally is on the move. Thor seems to be living storm as they get out and Tony thanks whoever might be listening that they are not in middle east...they're somewhere in west coast if he can guess accordingly. Phil gives one look at Tony as they hurriedly enter the car and the inventor can see his lips quirk.  
  
”It's not a dress!” Tony exclaims the second time and he can hear Clint snicker.  
  
”When Thor said we'd both try to woo you – this was not what I was expecting.” Coulson deadpans and Tony groans hiding his face in his hand as they speed off. His feeling nausea again.  
  
”Tony are thou well?” Thor asks from backseat worry heavy in his voice and Tony means to answer but he has a hard time to keep himself from throwing up or fainting, it's a coin toss.  
  
-”Sir doesn't' react well on some medicines Agent Coulson.”- J supplies from car speakers. Tony closes his eyes when nausea and dizzy spell keep wreaking havoc.  
  
”He might also have a concussion,” Coulson adds and Tony vaguely hears J saying he'll inform someone. He is out like a light again.  
  
-    -    -    -    -      
  
Somebody presses the cold towel against Tony's neck and he gives this voice of gratefulness, relaxing against the soothing coolness.  
”Feeling better?” that familiar missed monotone voice asks and Tony just gives another tiny voice, relaxing against warmth that is not jet's benches, Tony dares to crack one eye open just a little. Oh. Tony is basically sandwiched between Thor and Coulson on a pillow nest at jet's floor against a wall and Tony has no objections for that.  
  
”Please say it wasn't ten rings and just some random idiot,” Tony whines trying to not be obvious as he leans against both men and the towel Phil is keeping there to alleviate the headache Tony has. Phil says nothing and Tony just feels miserable for the moment.  
  
”They won't bother you anymore Tony,” Phil says and Tony believes that, to an extent. After all, P was super secret agent man. Large fingers cart Tony's hair and tension that was there melts away. Oh yeah, Thor.  
  
”There will be next time. Neither of you should really carry on with this. This won't last.” Tony mutters and the hand holding the cold towel gives Tony pinch.  
  
”Stop it. You're still on drugs and that makes you say things you hate later you have spoken aloud. Just rest. Clint said we'll be back to tower in half an hour.” Coulson says and Thor's fingers carry on massaging Tony's scalp. It feels so nice that Tony hs no objections even if this might be dream or temporary. He can be greedy now and then, right?  
  
”So Bruce told me you promised this food that is called thai?” Thor casually asks with curiosity lacing his voice.  
  
”Oh.”  
  
By the time they arrive at tower JARVIS has ordered thai food as well as donuts and other sweets and guided Bruce to hide the alcohol. They gather in the spacious living room as J opens the large screen and starts star trek marathon. Thor catches on surprisingly fast the idea of the show even if some of the stuff in it goes way over his head. Clint takes one armchair and Bruce another and Tony is again sitting between Thor and Coulson. Who he surprises late in the marathon by giving both quick kisses and then pretending he has no idea what happened. Tony will panic about it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will toss MCU angry Clint out of the window and just keep him before the whole stupid 380 angry character-twist. Screw that, I like Hawkeye. I even toyed with the idea of Clint, Tony, and Loki pulling ultimate prank wars around the tower. *dreamy sigh* It would be glorious.  
> I also don't know how you bruise on the face since I luckily haven't so far encountered that myself.

**Author's Note:**

> Do note if you would like for me to dive into this deeper. Also tell me if you know some other IronThunderAgent fics out there. I would gladly herd them into my collection of bookmarks. <3


End file.
